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First, I must apologize to the Goddess Lisa and Saint Gabe.  It appears as though I must cancel our night out clubbing.  Unless you want to participate in "Dancing with the Cripple".  For, alas, I am on crutches once again.

"What the frickity frack" you may be asking.  Well, Thursday night, while staying at the hotel in Manteca, I fell and fractured my leg.   Yes, the same leg with the broken foot.  If I would have listened to Fred and went to KOC Thursday night then maybe this wouldn't have happened.  But noooo.  I had to be all adult and responsible.  I just had to go get a good night's sleep before going to work the next morning.  (Let that be a lesson, kiddies.  KOC, and listening to Fred, can save lives!)

Bless the ER doc's heart cause was so funny.  I went into the ER, around 3:30 Friday morning, all normal-ish.  Well, as normal as I can be.  No crying.  No screaming.  Just la-la-la-la-la.  He came back from looking at the X-rays, and he had this strange look on his face.  "Ok.  I really wasn't expecting to see that," he said.  "I thought you had just wrenched it and maybe pulled some ligaments.  But no, you fractured it and really did a number on it".  Yippee! 

He told me that there's a good chance that it can be taken care of without surgery, and it looks like I actually managed to somehow not damage the kneecap.  The conversation was ended with me telling him I had the best sports injury docs in the world, so I would make an appointment with the ortho.  His comment..."umm....you really may want to make that appointment for Monday".  Great!

So, I finally get off the crutches only to go right back on them.  Plus, that means not walking on my foot again and no more physical therapy on it.  My physical therapists are great people, but they are also pretty straight shooters.  They've said it will cause some set backs, but not sure how bad.  Now I've got to see the ortho foot doc to find out just what we're talking about from his end.  

Now, I know you'll find this a bit strange, but I kinda started internalizing this and began planning this enormous pity party.  Oh, it was gonna be grand.  Balloons.  Hors d'oeurves.  Cake.  Champaign fountain (well, tequilla fountain). The whole works.   I started preparing for it by going through the usual bits of "why me", "the universe hates me", "why can't I get a break (other than the one in my leg)" .

But after popping a vicodin and going to soak in the jacuzzi tub, I kinda had an epiphany.  I realized the universe really was trying to send me a message.  I just misunderstood it.

Ya see, for the past week, I've been all boo hoo-ish because the anniversary of the attack is coming up.  As a matter of fact, Thursday was one year ago that I met the psychotic lunatic.  For some stupid reason, I went through all the old emails between us, and was once again trying to figure out why the attack happened.  I was sinking low and hating everything life had to offer.

I realized that I was focusing so hard on those things and forgot to appreciate all I had accomplished.  That I had relearned how to walk and was even starting to do a somewhat scary jog.  I wasn't recognizing all that was going right in my life.  I think the universe decided to bitch slap the shit out of me, put me back on crutches, and give me a reality check. 

I'm having to remember all the things I struggled through and how much I was taking things for granted again.  Especially the ability to walk.  And at least this time, it will probably be only about 6 weeks on crutches.  I know I'll walk again, so I can do this.  And between you and me, I probably needed this wake up call.  Things weren't as bad as I was feeling.  I do think I had a right to be a little down in the dumps facing the anniversary of everything.  But I was allowing the blues to go too deep and not celebrate all the achievements I had made. 

Yeah, this wake up call could be for the best.  (Still, couldn't it have just been a twisted knee and off my leg for 2 or 3 days so that I didn't have to cancel my LA vacation?)  Just kidding, universe.  Just kidding.  No more examples of how bad things can really be.  Please!
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
15 July 2009 @ 04:01 am
Thought it was time that I made my pic more current with who I am today.  So, introducing the new LJ pic!!!
12 July 2009 @ 11:44 pm
Hey Mr. Brucie.  Do you have this song? 

"Into The Ocean" by Blue October

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be...

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard?
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam, junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life, believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing?)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow, yeah
Just to prove I knew how, yeah
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean...end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(Into space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Current Mood: artisticartistic
29 June 2009 @ 07:45 pm
Mariska Hargitay & Chris Meloni (drool) have finally signed their contracts for one more year! Yea! And, Wentworth Miller is gonna guest on the Season premiere. Yum. They just better have D.A. Alex Cabot out of traffic by now. That was a shitty excuse for her not being in the season finale. Loves me some Stephanie March.
03 June 2009 @ 08:19 pm
Please check out this video.  Grover from Sesame Street asks a little kid "What is Marriage".

I'm tearing up over here.  They make it so simple and sweet, but also powerful.  I'm sick of people saying "how do we explain gay marriage to our kids".

Here's the answer:  Just have them watch this clip.     Sesame Street defines marriage.

PS...Congrats to New Hampshire.  Six states down.
Current Mood: touchedtouched
02 June 2009 @ 10:17 pm
ADA Alex Cabbot is still around.

Judith Light's judge is back.

The writing is feeling suspensful again.

It's only 18 minutes in and I'm yelling at the commercial to hurry and be over so I can get back to the show. This may be the finale, but if they can bring next season back to this level, I'll be glued to my TV every Tues night again.


UPDATE: It's 40 min in and this show is great. SVU is back, baby. It's back!!!
01 June 2009 @ 06:41 pm
Dear Prop 8 Supporters (furthermore known as "Narrow Minded Idiots")

Although you would treat me as inferior to you, I am writing this letter in an attempt to help you have a much easier life.

If you do not want to support gay marriages, then the solution is easy. Don't go to one. I know I will not be offended if you don't attend mine. Also, don't worry about sending a gift from a gay couple's registry. We will understand.

If you want to really save the sancitity of marriage, start by focusing all your attention on your own marriage. Don't worry about what's going on in my bedroom. Trust me, you won't be invited to join us, so there's no need for you to lie awake all night.

My life can only impact yours when you give me the power to do so. By worrying so much about my rights, and neglecting what goes on in your own home, you are making me more important than your own family. Although I appreciate you giving me such importance, I assure you, I am just a normal human being. I don't know you, and I have more things to do in my life than influence your family.

So just go about your day, and I'll do the same. Keep your family together by giving them your undivided attention. I promise to leave you alone if you'll do the same for me.


Your neighbor, the third class citizen
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
01 June 2009 @ 02:04 am
I will be going to see my orthopedic doctor on Thurs, July 2nd, at 1:20pm in Redwood City. It's the SOAR clinic, with the rehab docs that treat the 49'ers. My doc got good reviews. Some of the other docs that deal with other sports injuries have gotten mixed reviews. But the clinic overall has got lots of stars. And hey, if you can make a pro-athelete walk again, you damn well better help me get rid of the crutches.

Current Mood: giddygiddy
31 May 2009 @ 08:55 pm
July 1st is "I" Day. Insurance day. My health benefits are effective in almost one month. There's way too many feelings behind that to even go into. But here's what I need to figure out.

Should I have my work done at Stanford, or at UC Davis? My insurance will be Cigna and I don't need a referral, and since most specialty appointments are booked for about a month in advance, I want to go ahead and make my appointment. So, I need to decide where I want to go.

Anyone have any opinions, or experience, with the two areas? Or, even better, anyone know a good ortho? I yelped the Berkley area, but not much there. I found some info on Dr. Goranson, with 3 reviews, and that's the one who's in the lead. Gotta make sure he takes Cigna though.

Also, to be honest...I'm nervous about going by myself. This is huge to me. So, if I do go to a doc in the area, maybe I can talk someone into going with me.

Any ideas and opinions are appreciated.
21 May 2009 @ 09:49 pm
Bad Jose. Bad bad bad. You act all nice to me. You and your smooth personality. You pretend to be so transparent. Crystal clear. What ya see is what you get. But you have a secret agenda, don't you.

You like corrupting sweet, little innocent boys like me. You trick us into following you into the darkside. You corrupt us and turn us into fools and have us doing things we would normally never do.

Bad Jose! Bad bad bad. Now you go stand in the corner and think about what you did. You stay there and don't come out until tomorrow night.

Meanwhile, I would like to take a moment and apologize to anyone I was an ass to. And my hands apologize for their behavior too. It wasn't our fault. Blame Jose!
Current Mood: draineddrained